My Health Story
For as long as I can remember, I was on a diet.
As a little girl, I genuinely don't remember a time when losing weight wasn't the goal. I believed that if I could just be thinner, life would somehow be better. I'd be happier. More confident. More accepted.
Food became something I was constantly thinking about.
My mum always did her best. She cooked healthy meals at home and wanted us to eat well. We rarely had sweets, chocolate, fizzy drinks, squash or treats in the house. Looking back, I can see her intentions came from a place of love.
But without realising it, those foods became forbidden.
And when something is forbidden, it becomes powerful.
Every time I went to a friend's house, a birthday party or a sleepover, I would eat everything I could get my hands on. Crisps, sweets, chocolate, cake, fizzy drinks. Not because I was hungry. Not even because I particularly enjoyed all of it.
I ate it because I knew I wouldn't be allowed it when I got home.
That was the beginning of a relationship with food that would dominate my life for decades….
As I got older, the binge eating became worse. The guilt became stronger. My self-worth became tied to the number on the scales.
I spent years trapped in a cycle of restriction, overeating, shame, starting again on Monday, and promising myself that this time would be different.
I've tried more diets than I can count.
Weight Watchers.
Slimming World.
The Atkins Diet.
The Military Diet.
The British Heart Foundation Diet.
SlimFast.
LighterLife.
Juicing.
Cabbage Soup Diet.
Meal replacements.
Calorie counting.
Starving myself.
Over-exercising.
If there was a promise of weight loss attached to it, I've probably tried it.
And every time I failed, I blamed myself.
I thought I lacked willpower.
I thought I wasn't disciplined enough.
I thought there was something wrong with me.
The truth was that the diets were failing me.
Not the other way around….
Over the years, my relationship with food developed into eating disorders, including binge eating and bulimia. There were times when food completely controlled my life. I would spend my days thinking about what I had eaten, what I shouldn't have eaten, what I was allowed to eat tomorrow, and how I could make up for today's mistakes.
I received compliments when I was at my thinnest.
People told me I looked amazing.
What they didn't know was that I was often at my most unwell.
The outside looked healthy.
The inside was anything but.
Collectively, I have lost and regained more weight than I can calculate. I estimate I've lost around fourteen stone throughout my life, only to gain much of it back and start again.
I became exhausted.
Exhausted by dieting.
Exhausted by guilt.
Exhausted by constantly fighting my own body.
Eventually, I convinced myself that weight loss surgery would be the answer.
I travelled abroad and underwent surgery, believing that if I could physically change my stomach, I could finally change my life.
The surgery itself was successful, and I lost the weight i wanted.
But what nobody talks about is that surgery doesn't automatically heal your relationship with food.
The weight came off.
The food struggles remained.
That was the moment I realised I needed something deeper than another quick fix. Whilst the surgery had helped me lose weight, I knew I was living on borrowed time. Unless I learnt how to nourish my body and heal my relationship with food, I feared the weight would gradually return and I'd be trapped in the same cycle all over again.
I needed understanding.
I needed education.
I needed to know why….
So I enrolled at Chichester College and studied for my Level 2 qualification in Improving Personal Health and Nutrition.
And for the first time in my life, things started to make sense.
I learnt what my body actually needed.
I learnt why restrictive diets fail.
I learnt how to build meals that keep you satisfied, energised and nourished.
I learnt that healthy eating doesn't have to be miserable.
Most importantly, I learnt that food isn't the enemy.
That education changed everything.
Not overnight.
Not through perfection.
But through understanding.
Since then, I have used what I've learnt to help family members, friends and clients who have struggled with many of the same challenges. People who feel trapped in the same cycle I lived in for years.
People who are fed up with dieting.
People who don't know what to eat anymore because every diet tells them something different.
People who are busy, overwhelmed and trying to look after everyone else whilst putting themselves last.
My approach is different because I don't start with a meal plan.
I start with you.
Your lifestyle.
Your family.
Your budget.
Your favourite foods.
Your struggles.
Your goals….
I've sat at kitchen tables helping people work through their cupboards. I've helped clients recreate the meals they love in ways that better support their health goals. I've walked supermarket aisles showing people simple swaps that don't leave them feeling deprived. I've helped busy parents create realistic eating habits that actually fit into real life.
Because the goal isn't another diet.
The goal is freedom.
Freedom from guilt.
Freedom from food obsession.
Freedom from starting again every Monday.
I believe healthy eating should be realistic, enjoyable and sustainable.
I believe there should be room for birthday cake, family meals, holidays and spontaneous nights out.
Most of all, I believe that nobody should have to spend their entire life battling with food the way I did.
If any part of this story sounds familiar, then please know you're not broken.
You don't need another diet.
You need support, understanding, education and a plan that works for your life.
And I'd love to help you create that.
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Contact me via Instagram or email fandfyoga@gmail.com
